TO THE EDITOR
I am writing to voice my support for Candidate A in the upcoming primary on September 6th. Candidate A is the only candidate in this race who has proven able to pick their nose while patting themselves on the back. Nobody else can say that, certainly not their opponents, Candidates B, C, or D.
Candidate A has also taken no money from corporations. This is truly a grassroots campaign. I’ve seen Candidate A often pull up grass roots in their garden. It’s phenomenal. There is no outside money coming in, well aside from the PAC money that has poured into their campaign, but hush hush…nobody has to know that unless they look at the campaign finance website. Sure, Candidate A has donated hundreds of thousands of their own money to their campaign, but they’re not trying to buy this election at all. To be willing to mortgage their own future on winning this high and important office shows that they are committed. We need more dedicated people like that.
Candidate A deserves to be elected because they have accomplished so much. Their track record speaks for itself. They were instrumental in naming a brand new health clinic in Boston. They led the fight during the Free Tom Brady campaign. Do you like the fact that when you ride the T, the upholstery is still the same as it has been for a decade or more? Well, you can thank Candidate A. They did that! Some think Candidate A is just looking to climb the political ladder. It doesn’t matter that they served only a few days in their previous positions or that they ran for an entirely different office four years ago and then decided this current position was the one they really wanted. And did you know that Candidate A served for a while in the Obama White House and for Governor Deval Patrick? I mean for that reason alone, they must be cool, so you should vote for them!
Did I mention the endorsements? Candidate A has the endorsement of so many different organizations that you never heard of. It means a lot to me because it means they had to write a letter, answer a few survey questions, and ask for the endorsement. That takes a lot of work. Even better, Candidate A is also endorsed by a number of prominent political figures, including mayors and councilors in towns you’ve never heard of.
Candidate A has knocked millions of doors. Well, Candidate A isn’t knocking all those doors. The hundreds of unpaid volunteers are doing that.
Candidate A is smarter than you and better looking, too! Candidate A just simply looks the part. How can you go wrong with Candidate A?
Candidate A should definitely be our next State Auditor, Attorney General, Governor’s Councilor, or whatever position they are running for this year. Please join me in supporting Candidate A on September 6th. If you don’t, well you will just have to vote for them for the next office they seek. Whatever you do, keep those campaign contributions coming. Win or lose, Candidate A will need that head start in the money race for the next campaign.
The Ham and Cheese 